Turning the Corner

Over the previous few days I feel as if I'm about to turn the corner in knowing how to handle less than desirable circumstances.  A breakthrough of sorts is on the horizon.  Glimpses of the next blessing are teasing me as I catch sight of them, gain a little bit of hope, and then watch as they disappear around the bend in the road.  I must run after them with complete abandon knowing it is really God Himself inviting me to the next stage of life.  Following the evolving growth of who I am may seem confusing and contradictory, but this roller-coaster of emotion is crazy.  About the time I think a new level of acceptance has been reached, I immediately come crashing back down in despair and depression.  Two steps forward...one step back.  One step forward...two steps back.  True growth is measured on God's calendar.  The One who created time and operates above it is all-wise and knows best in how to shape and mold me.  I can envision who I am capable of becoming and can almost lay hold of the prize, but it is still slightly out of reach.  It is in times like these I do have a small glimmer of hope.  The challenge is in how it plays out in practical application in the real world beyond the door to my apartment.  Of course it is a lot easier to stay at home limiting to a bare minimum of necessity my interaction with the outside world.  But I know God has wired me differently than most, and calls me to invest my spiritual gifts in the community.  What is the next step?  I don't know, but this is kind of exciting.