Ale for the Soul

Soren Kierkegard once said that life can only be understood looking backward but must be lived moving forward.  (My paraphrase.)  As I look back on the previous year plus, I am amazed at the journey yours truly has taken.  The only observation that counts is how my Father God has walked with and blessed me the entire time.  With the exception of some temp work here and there, I was fortunate enough to have had enough money in the bank to take off for most of 2021.  Again, the Great Shepard has richly provided when I needed His help the most.  If I cease resisting His hand of providence and love for me, the lover of my soul has proven time and again that He is willing to grant a rich life far beyond anything I could ever fathom in this temporary earthly life.  I am simply a pilgrim on a journey to an eternal kingdom.  This life is the proving ground for the next world.  Of course I will experience less than ideal circumstances and personal reverses; however, I am not left to my own devi

Time marches on and stops for no one.  Yes, both Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone.  Now I'm celebrating my 48th birthday.  Wow, how did I get this old?  Ha ha!  On Christmas Eve, I left Fort Worth to travel to Yoakum in order to visit family.  Not sure if I was more excited about getting to leave town for a few days or to see my mother, step-father, and brother.  Either way, I was doubly blessed with time away with those I love.  They aren't required to love or tolerate me just because we are related.  With the passage of time, the family dynamic changes as does yours truly.  Unfortunately, I was done by Sunday afternoon.  As a result, I headed back to the city of my exile.  There's something to be said about sleeping in one's own bed and apartment.  Today I was determined to not let the time pass by wastefully.  After running a few errands and meeting a friend for coffee, I headed out to Marion Sansom Park for some limited hiking and to smoke a celebratory

Thanksgiving is an attitude and not simply a holiday celebrated one day a year.  Keeping my mind on and praising God for the many blessings I have keeps me from wallowing in resentment, bitterness, and depression, which I'm prone to do.  Life hasn't unfolded the way I wanted, but that doesn't mean yours truly hasn't had a productive, fulfilling purpose in living.  Instead of gaining a plethora of material wealth, I would like to focus in having a positive impact on those around me.  Does each person at the cigar shop see Jesus living through me?  How does that play out in my response or reaction when I seem to have a setback?  Is my first visceral instinct to lash out in anger or thank God maybe He has different plans for me?  I was scheduled for a bunch of extra hours this holiday and Black Friday weekend.  Instead, I got sick!  There was absolutely no way yours truly could have functioned on the job with the coughing, hacking, and screaming headache I experienced.  In

**Found this story I penned for a writing contest and wanted to share.** One beautiful sunny afternoon as the kids entertain themselves with TV and toys, I continue to go about my daily chores of house cleaning while baby-sitting four precious grandchildren.   Stealing away for a few moments of rest, I quickly and quietly repaired to the living room in order to lay down on the sofa.   Ahh…rest and ease!   I wonder how quickly this will end as the children discover Grandma is not to be heard in the kitchen.   Immediately my eyes close and I drift off to Never Never Land.   Not realizing how long I had been asleep my eyes opened to find Hollie holding her arm tight to herself with a twisted look of extreme horror and discomfort on her face.   The transference of horror took upon my face as I discovered her arm seared by a nasty burn, and the hand missing from atop her wrist.   In my hysteria I desperately tried to find what she had done to cause such horrible dismemberment.   Frantic!  

**Found this story I penned for a writing contest and wanted to share.** The time was the 1940s in America.  War!  Gradually the grip of the Great Depression loosened as the nightmare that held this country in such terror and horror diminished into a fleeting nightmare as the economy began to hit on all four cylinders.  The New Deal!  The American Dream a reality once more!  As a young couple in love, the thought of hope and a future life together seemed easily within reach.  Closing on our new home in Austin gave us the confidence and security in the fact that very dream can be had upon the strength of a good work ethic.  For isn’t this what America was built on?  Wasn’t it by our resolve and determination, the sweat of our brow, so we were told and had lived out for us that gave the sense that the world could be ours if we simply went after it?  For this is what made us the Greatest Generation.  Soon the reminder came that dreams come at a price as financial, as well as other, strugg

Three more months remaining in 2021, and I'm curious if time can pass by any faster.  September was an incredible month as I saw the arrival of the first official day of Fall.  With cooler weather fast approaching, I can finally look forward to a time of camping.  In addition to the changing of seasons, I am now settled in working for the local tobacco shop.  Living in Houston for many years, I was a die-hard shoe salesman managing and training within various companies and their subsequent regional locations.  After arriving in Fort Worth, I transitioned to a new area of employment expertise becoming a purveyor of cigars, pipes, pipe tobacco, and the many differing accessories.  Finding my place at Big Dave's Cigars felt as if I had come home after living as a prodigal working at other companies.  Getting along with the store's staff wasn't very difficult as we are all more mature in age and seem to have the same strong work ethic.  The cherry on the cake for the month

On many occasions, I wonder what life would have been like had I actually got what I wanted.  Growing up as a little kid, I had a vision for life that may seem fairly run-of-the-mill: college, career, family, hobbies, and so much more.  None of it came to pass...or at least not to the degree desired.  (The vision I had was very detailed.  For the sake of this blog entry, I generalized what the vision for life included.)  What I didn't factor into the equation was the fact life simply happens.  Yours truly never quite learned, until much later in life, that one must roll with the punches.  That doesn't mean I lose sight of the end goal or heart desires, but I must also not wreck myself trying to force a square peg into a round hole.  Somewhat recently, I came to the conclusion that maybe what I wanted out of life wasn't God's Will.  Apart from telling people about Jesus, I don't have the faintest idea what God's Will is for my life or how that Will is to play out

"Hey, bro!"  "What's happening, brother?"  Statements like these can take on various forms depending on who is speaking.  Honestly, it irks me to no end.  The speaker assumes there is a relationship of some sort in place that carries with it a certain level of intimacy and trust.  This casual friendship may or may not even exist beyond the mere acquaintance of another person; however, such a connection is earned and not given.  The bond of brotherhood, by blood or circumstance, is extremely sacred and trascendent.  For example, I have a biological sister and brother.  Simply because they are in my family doesn't mean the spirit of brotherhood is present.  Thankfully, in my case, it does!  Then there are those who have become my "brother" or "sister" through circumstance: a bond born out of adversity...a fiery trial that purifies and strengthens the relationship.  In both cases, biological or otherwise, I would storm the gates of hell for

On Tuesday, my job search came to an end with employment at  Run On! by JackRabbit .  I finally found something I can dive into with the totality of my being...a full-time job with decent pay and benefits.  The cherry on top is I will now work Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.  No more dead-end employment running the rat race with no real goal to reach.  The job description includes working in the distribution center fulfilling orders and maintaining organization in the stock room, which is something I formerly performed with other shoe companies in Houston.  I couldn't be more pleased with this immense blessing from my Abba Father, the Lord Jesus.  Now the challenge is to learn what is both required and expected from me.  As an older, more mature, individual, I also need to the learn the tech aspect of the position, as well as to make sure I am physically capable of accomplishing the tasks at-hand.  After working four days, I am exhausted and can now look forward to a

Alcholics Anonymous is a twelve-step group providing support and encouragement for breakfing free from the addiction of alcoholism.  Over the years, I have considered myself a member of this organization, specifically calling Southwest my home group.  This fellowship, especially as I gain significant distance from my last foray as an active drinker, has evolved to hold various meanings during the different seasons of life.  At this point, I mainly attend as a means to get out of the apartment for a bit and to meet my social needs.  Lately, I have found it increasingly difficult to maintain a semi-active role in the program due to disagreement with a few core beliefs held by A.A. in general.  Not in any particular order, I adamently disagree with calling alcoholism a disease and refuse to acquiese to the overarching view a member can define or create his/her own higher power.  Alcoholism is an addiction, not a disease.  It is a learned behavior and, quite frankly, a sin.  It is not a di

On Friday, April 9th, I flew back to Fort Worth after about an hour layover in Denver.  (The last time I was in Colorado was in 1981.)  The Hawaii vacation came to an end as I was more than ready for a return to reality and routine.  The say there is nothing like sleeping in one's own bed is a sheer understatement and holds a lot of truth and validity.  Both my sister and I were pleased with the projects I completed during the stay on Oahu.  On a personal level, I was equally pleased with the places visited that I wasn't able to get to during the first visit in 2019.  Once unpacked and settled, I tied up a few loose ends, smoked two tobacco pipes, and watched a little baseball to unwind.  Then it was off to bed at 6:30 p.m.  Out of sheer exhaustion, I immediately fell asleep.  (Sleeping on a plane is a joke and didn't happen.)  More than likely, another good night's sleep is in order to begin feeling normal again.  This week will see an earnest search for employment, al

Today marks two weeks I've been in Hawaii.  Visiting my sister has been good, but I must admit how much I miss Texas.  The Covid rules are much stricter here than they are back home.  Do people really not know how to think for themselves?  I am amazed at how dependent people are on the government for information and assistance.  (The general sense of entitlement should give clue to the sad state of affairs for the citizenry.)  Washington, D.C., does not have our best interest in mind as they are manipulating public sentiments and causing a vast majority to live in fear.  Enough of that as this entry is not intended as a diatribe about or indictment against our national political condition.  The time spent in Hawaii has been a good balance of work and play.  There have been chores and projects assigned, which I gladly take on in order to earn my keep.  The most physically active has been painting the trim and doors of the townhouse.  In fact, my arthritic back was screaming at me fo

About two weeks ago my sister made an offer I couldn't refuse.  Since I wasn't gainfully employed, why not come out to Hawaii for an indefinite period of time?  Not wanting to make a rash decision, I consulted with a trusted adviser and gave her a decision two days later.  I gave her the green light to proceed in making arrangments for travelling to Oahu.  She purchased a one-way ticket rather inexpensively, helped guide me through the Covid testing requirements, as well as all the other government stipulated measures I had to satisfy, and offered support with any questions or concerns I may have had.  Admittedly, there were a few stressful times trying to get everything accomplished; however, Abba Father more than adequately provided for yours truly.  The main obstacle was getting the driver's license renewed.  Due to the pandemic, most businesses were on restricted operating hours or by appointment only.  The DMV was no exception.  Even though the office was by appointmen

On Sunday, a mutual friend informed of Amy Arnold's passing.  I was in shock, especially since she was only a year or two older than me.  Of course I asked for the circumstances surrounding her sudden departure from this ethereal plane.  In spite of knowing about a few of her health issues, I was still reeling from the news.  Over the course of the week, I finally processed what had happened.  Memories flooded my mind of our almost twenty-nine year friendship.  We first met in the Fall of 1992 at the Baptist Student Union on the campus of Victoria College in Victoria, Texas.  As we both moved to Houston at about the same time, we kept in touch throughout the years.  On occasion, we would make the trip to Victoria in order to visit with her Grandmother in Mission Valley, a neighboring municipality.  Not only am I grateful for the blessings Amy brought to my life, but also thankful she cherished our friendship enough to introduce me to her beautiful family.  (I had a very special fri

The brutal winter storm is roughly two weeks behind me, and I am so thankful for having survived without incident.  The only negative arising from the ordeal is I am out of a job once again.  Not being able to report to work was the cause.  I did contact the liquor store on two occasions during the week in question, but I decided to move on when it still looked like I couldn't make things work.  In all probability, the job could have been salvaged; however, I didn't want to keep stringing them along since I didn't have any hard answers for when I could eventually report back to work.  Public transportation is up and running again, but it is too little too late.  Honestly, the job wasn't worth keeping.  Other than having a steady paycheck, it was what I considered dead-end employment.  Besides, working in a liquor store isn't the best ideal for a recovering alcholic.  As I sit here typing this blog entry, I am at a loss for where to apply.  Getting another pointless

Penning this entry, I am very aware of the blanket of snow and ice covering the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex.  As much as I like and enjoy cold weather, Mother Nature can keep this kind of weather all to herself.  Ha!  As a result of the horrific winter storm the area is experiencing, I have found it impossible to report to work.  Before the snow hit, I was already finding mobility difficult as bus drivers were not showing up to run their routes.  Last Saturday evening I had to improvise getting home as both the 9:45 p.m. and 10:15 p.m. buses were a no-show.  Thankfully I was able to catch another bus that dropped me off within a half-mile of the apartment.  The short hike back home was a cold one but could have been made worse if the wind had been whipping.  In addition, I gave the store manager of the liquor store advanced warning that Sunday's predicted snow storm already called into question my ability to report for the scheduled shift on Monday.  With phone lines down and the s

Today is my Sabbath day of rest, and I have been enjoying the time immensely.  Last Wednesday, January 20th, I was blessed with starting employment with Goody Goody Liquor on Camp Bowie Boulevard in Fort Worth.  On the previous Friday, I interviewed with the store manager.  By Monday, I was offered employment contingent on passing a background check and drug test.  The following Tuesday brought the good news yours truly had passed both.  Most of the blog readers already remember I do have a black mark in my personal history, but God allowed everything to come back clear.  I was working the very next day beginning at Noon.  After working four days straight, I was exhauted!  Every night after clocking out from an eight-hour shift, I went home sore with hurting feet.  Whew, I was extremely thankful for having both Sunday and Monday off from work.  A family member helped me to run a few errands, making Monday a true day of rest and recuperation.  Once again, I am acutely aware how dependen

The year 2020 flew by at break-neck speed.  Yes, it was a rather odd year with the Corona Virus, but I am more amazed at how it seemed to pass me by without much to show for it.  Not knowing how life will turn out, I am continually in awe at how my Abba Father provides for me.  He is all-knowing and ever-present in my life, blessing me beyond measure in spite of myself.  With the "pandemic" ramping up in March, getting the work-from-home job with Enterprise in February was great timing.  This only confirms Ecclesiastes 3:11, "He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."  Leaving that job about eight months later, again I was richly provided for through temporary day labor employment.  Another milestone of the year was the expiration of my ten-year legal obligation.  The underlying reason behind the State of Texas supervision was totally bogus and laughable,

Unfortunately, my week-long vacation is coming to an end.  After a glorious time away from the monotany of routine, I'm actually looking forward to a return to normalcy.  Visiting "family" I didn't know I had, to enjoying another birthday with siblings, I capped off the travels with a few days spent with Mom.  Yoakum is a very unexciting, small country town in the middle of nowhere.  No one ever passes through this sleepy little place on their way to somewhere else.  If a person ever finds themselves there, it's on purpose...a destination of sorts.  Just like everyone else, we headed to the nearest big city of Victoria to satisfy the itch of something to do.  After a few hours of eating and shopping, we had enough.  The next day brought a milder excursion to the city of Cuero: shopping at Wal-Mart and a local thrift store, along with a late lunch at an area restaurant.  Content with our endeavors, we spent my final day in Yoakum by keeping close to the house; howe