Next Steps

The brutal winter storm is roughly two weeks behind me, and I am so thankful for having survived without incident.  The only negative arising from the ordeal is I am out of a job once again.  Not being able to report to work was the cause.  I did contact the liquor store on two occasions during the week in question, but I decided to move on when it still looked like I couldn't make things work.  In all probability, the job could have been salvaged; however, I didn't want to keep stringing them along since I didn't have any hard answers for when I could eventually report back to work.  Public transportation is up and running again, but it is too little too late.  Honestly, the job wasn't worth keeping.  Other than having a steady paycheck, it was what I considered dead-end employment.  Besides, working in a liquor store isn't the best ideal for a recovering alcholic.  As I sit here typing this blog entry, I am at a loss for where to apply.  Getting another pointless job isn't what I want.  Maybe I entirely missed the boat on acquiring a career, working toward retirement, and then enjoying life's golden years.  Until something comes along, I'm taking a hard look at life in the rearview mirror.  The harder I tried to chase after childhood dreams and the vision for life I had constructed, the further away they seemed.  Constantly I'm reminded God's purpose for living is to have an obedient relationship with the Lord Jesus, but what exactly does that look like.  I'll still have to find work, pay bills, and live out what apprears to be a lackluster, pitiful existence.  Until something comes along, and it will, I get the opportunity to work on yours truly.  I can't believe God would let His innate giftings and abilities go to waste, but I must first have that vertical relationship with the God of the universe.  He is my provision!  Another bit of bad news is finding out about the death of a friend.  On Sunday, a mutual friend sent a text message informing of her passing.  I'm still processing what happened.  Since I currently don't own a vehicle, attending the funeral is out of the question.  There is no excuse for not paying my respects considering the twenty-nine year friendship I had with the deceased.  This is what ticks me off the most.  Quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of missing out on life in general because I don't have this or that.  (Fill in the blank for whatever "this/that" is.)  Eventually I'll work through these feelings.  I only hope and pray God will lead me to health and wellness, not only in the short-term but also for the remainder of my days here on earth.  Each day is a blessing, a new gift to do with according to what honors and glorifies Father God.  Some moments will be good while others are blah, but the Great Shepard will walk with me through each.

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