Ale for the Soul

It has been a little over three months since becoming unemployed again.  Time sure flies when one enjoys their freedom.  Ha ha!  I applied and interviewed for a job with Cigars International.  The whole process was rather strange.  After failing the background check, I was still sent onboarding paperwork as if nothing had happened.  Then I received a phone call giving me the greenlight to start work.  I was on the fence about taking the job.  The packaged deal was part-time with about 24 hours at a rate of $12 an hour.  The only part of the job offer that I didn't like was the scheduled hours from 4 p.m. to midnight.  Yuck!  In the end, I passed on the employment opportunity thinking something better might come along.  (The price of gas and limited work hours also played a factor in my decision.)  I continue to think how much I would like to work for myself.  Who wouldn't?!  For years, possibly decades, I felt Go...

 At the very end of the movie Mr. Holland's Opus, the master of ceremonies speak to her former teacher, "Mr. Holland had a profound influence on my life and on a lot of lives I know.  But I have a feeling that he considers a great part of his own life misspent.  Rumor had it he was always working on this symphony of his.  And this was going to make him famous, rich, probably both.  But Mr. Holland isn't rich and he isn't famous, at least not outside of our little town.  So it might be easy for him to think himself a failure.  But he would be wrong, because I think that he's achieved a success far beyond riches and fame.  Look around you.  There is not a life in this room that you have not touched, and each of us is a better person because of you.  We are your symphony, Mr. Holland.  We are the melodies and the notes of your opus.  We are the music of your life. "   As I look back in life, there are definite hallmarks along...

One week ago today, I set out on the open road for a week-long adventure.  No hotel stays were involved, so I needed to meticulously plan the itinerary for several day trips.  Staying with family in the Victoria area would provide for a base of operations.  The first destination was the Alfred D. Hughes Unit in Gatesville, Texas.  A friend is assigned to that unit, and I try to visit whenever I can.  The last time we saw each other was when he was assigned to the Ellis Unit in Huntsville.  We had a great time of fellowship, and the two-hour visit passed by as if it were only a few minutes.  Who knows when I'll get to see him again.  Before heading out to the Victoria area, I was able to drive around town.  Gatesville is a former stomping ground in a former life when a friend and his family lived in the area.  Now it has been roughly 24 years since I have been in the area.  Even travelling to Gatesville was different.  I had nev...

Wow, is it almost March already?!  This year is taking off like never before.  As I grow older, as most people can probably attest, time flies by at ever increasing speeds.  And the adventures don't let up one bit.  Seems like yesterday I was taking a First Day Hike at Cleburne State Park in Cleburne, Texas.  Then various holidays, including Valentine's Day and the beginning of the forty days of Lent leading up to Easter, leaves me trying to catch my breath.  Looking for the break pedal to moderate the passage of time, but no such luck.  Unfortunately, life gives a mix of bad along with the good and throws it my way in order to keep life interesting.  Last Saturday I was "let go" at my job working at Tx Smoke (cigar shop).  The whole ordeal blindsided me from out in left field.  Didn't realize there were any issues as I was the only staff member alongside the owner/manager.  Whatever the perceived issues were, I must give credit to ...

As I grow older, the holidays are simply another day in the successive onslaught of time.  That's probably why I don't make resolutions for the entire year.  I take each day as a stand-alone time to work on me and bless others in the process.  Remember, we are not guaranteed tomorrow.  Each day is a gift to be stewarded for God's glory.  Have I been obedient to His Will?  Or have I been lazy and procrastinate with the very activities I know needs to be taken care of?  Father God has blessed me very richly as I see His goodness all around me.  The year 2025 came to a blessed closing as I celebrated Christmas, New Year's Day, and my 52nd birthday.  Since I need to work for a living, as the job is one avenue or channel of God's provision, I wasn't able to visit family for the holidays.  As a result, I took to the city parks and nature preserves for time spent in nature: Veterans Park, Oak Cliff Nature Preserve, Crystal Canyon Nature Area, L...

A few weeks ago, Thanksgiving came early as I was able to travel a few hours in order to visit family in the hill country.  This made up for being on my own for yesterday's Thanksgiving holiday.  Not wanting to waste away the day in nothing-ness, I set out for Sherman, Texas.  Someone asked me, "What's in Sherman?"  My response was meant to be humorous, "Don't know...never been there before!"  Ha ha!  I did have a loose itinerary as I performed an internet search of activities available in the Sherman area.  First on the list was West Hill Cemetery.  As some of you may already know from reading a few of the previous blog posts,  I am an active genealogist on the Find A Grave website.  My great-grandfather's brother and sister-in-law are interred in this cemetery, and for quite some time I've been wanting to go check it out.  Having never been to this particular cemetery, finding it wasn't very difficult; however, figuring out the la...

The boss and I made a deal on the schedule.  He needed a few days over the weekend in order to visit family in Beaumont.  This was while I was trying to see what I could wrangle out of him for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.  Haven't seen my own family in quite a while and didn't want to have Mom spend Turkey Day all by herself.  Even though the timing was a little off as the holiday was still two weeks away, I couldn't be picky.  With bags packed and loaded in the vehicle the night before, I was up bright and early the next morning and departed somewhat on time.  I had three glorious days off to enjoy before needing to come back to reality in working three double shifts for the boss.  In the end, the trade-off was well worth the sacrifice and effort.  Mom still needed to work during two of these days; however, we still enjoyed a day filled with shopping and eating in Victoria.  On the other days, I was able to connect with a contact throu...

     Life has been fairly status quo and routine, hence the lack of blog entries for the previous few months.  This doesn't mean absolutely nothing has happened, but maybe nothing of noteworthy expression.  Once back from the family vacation to Corpus Christi in May, I began working part-time at Tx Smoke, a cigar shop near the West 7th District of Fort Worth.  Yes, it does appear yours truly is a job hopper, not staying at any one job beyond a few months at a time.  Most employments are ended due to a combination of mis-matched personalities at the business and unrealized expectations from both parties.  Most of the time, it's simply my outspokeness and rough edges that cause life to go sideways from time to time.  At any rate, I have now been at Tx Smoke for roughly three months, and the employment so far seems to be smooth sailing.      About a month ago, I learned of the passing of a longtime friend of my maternal grandmothe...

On Saturday, May 17, I took off out onto the open road once the shift relief showed up at work.  Surprisingly, I was wide awake and alert for the drive.  I had been up since three o'clock that morning and had a concern about being able to safely drive to Yoakum.  Even after a few stops to visit and take pictures of historical sites, I arrived at Mom's house around 5:30 p.m.  We visited a short while before heading to bed.  I was exhausted!  Our next four days of vacation in Corpus Christi would provide an exhaustingly good time as well.  The time spent was a whirlwind of activity from almost the time we woke up till we arrived back at the hotel.  Honestly, I don't remember the last time I was in the area.  May have been over forty years since I've been on this section of the Texas coast.  We had a blast!  We did all the touristy type stuff: Art Museum of South Texas, Museum of Science and History, Texas State Aquarium, U.S.S. Lexing...

As a history buff I am a stickler for dates and events, the ever-linear timeline of life.  For example, every year on September 1st I acknowledge Germany's invasion of Poland in 1939.  I know that sounds very weird and is not disguised as some sort of political or idealogical message.  It is simply a fact of historical record that I chuckle about whenever I think of it.  Recently I had quite a few dates of remembrance.  First was January 30th, which is the date my maternal grandfather passed away fifteen years ago.  At the time, yours truly was under thirty days away from getting released from incarceration and was never able to see him again this side of Heaven.  Immediately following on February 2nd, I marked ten years since moving into my present residence.  Wow, have I really lived here this long?  When living in Houston, it seems like I was moving every six months.  Father God has richly blessed me with stability and somewhat afford...

Another year is upon us!  Where has the time gone?  Not only a new year, but I am blessed with a new day each and every time God sees fit to allow me to wake up.  I certainly don't need a brand new year to figuratively start over.  I can take each day as a time to assess where I am in relation to God's will and His holy scripture.  Only then can I move my life in concert with the Holy Spirit's direction toward what God would have me do.  Already 2025 has been a blessing!  Last week I rearranged the apartment, with the assistance of my neighbor, to move all my books and research material to the front living room.  This has afforded me the opportunity to once again sleep in the bedroom.  (Long story for another time.)  Not only is it warmer in there, but the move has added more security.  For the previous four plus years, I had been sleeping near the front door and porch window.  Considering the neighborhood I reside in, this pro...

Just found out a few minutes ago a very dear friend passed away back in July.  Guess I wasn't a very good friend in only having found out.  I am very sad nonetheless.  He and I disagreed on a few points in life, but he was a constant support and a good sounding board to discuss whatever came my way.  I initially met Don at Tobacco Lane on the Square, a cigar shop, in downtown Fort Worth.  Over the years, we would meet at other cigar shops in order to visit while I worked or on a day off so we could smoke a cigar together.  Don was always very positive and seemed to take life in stride whether it was good or bad.  We would constantly joke about the oddest stuff, which is what attracted me to him in friendship.  People like him are a great example of how we can be friends without having to agree on everything.  We found our commonality over a great cigar and a good time of fellowship.  He knew the good, bad, and ugly about me and still nev...

Once again, another year has flown by making my head spin.  Overall, 2024 can be placed under the "win" column as I have been able to scratch off quite a few bucket list items.  Primarily this has been the year to catch up on a few health issues: annual physical, lab work, cataract surgery, and so much more.  I still have one medical issue outstanding, but I remain diligent in taking care of yours truly.  In August, I celebrated 18 years of sobriety at my local A.A. group.  This was definitely a memorable event as I never thought I would be alcohol-free for this long.  A testament to the power and influence of God in my life.  Another focus is that of relationships.  As I grow older, especially after turning 51 a few days ago, the value and worth of friendships and family ties increases exponentially.  It is with great pleasure that I was able to help celebrate the marriage of my brother and his fiance with the blending of two families in the...

Today I began working a secondary form employment with Cartan's.  It is a shoe store selling men's and women's footwear located on Magnolia in the Near Southside of Fort Worth.  Ever since I moved here I have tried to get hired on with this place of business.  I formerly worked for the owner at the Rockport Shops in Houston.  Figured I was a "shoe" in with the amount of experience yours truly offered.  Finally, I was hired on and began by working from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.  I dove right in and tried my best.  Slowly but surely, all of my skills and abilities will come back.  The manager seemed pleased and thought I really didn't need much help.  I shadowed him and a few other employees while they waited on customers.  In addition, I helped to put away drags, which are leftover shoes from the sale.  The store hours are from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday and closed on Sunday.  Woohoo!  Think I have found my home....

Last week I was able to get away from the land of exile in order to visit and spend time with family.  Even though part of our plans for a trip to East Texas fell apart, I very much enjoyed spending three wonderful days with my mother in Yoakum.  During this time, as she still had to work her shifts at the church, I was able to scratch off quite a few items from the bucket list.  Many of these items have been on there for several years awaiting much-needed closure.  On top of the list, but really in no particular order, was to visit the Alchoholics Anonymous group in Victoria where I tried to get sober in 2004.  Even though I didn't recognize anyone in attendance, I did enjoy the time spent in fellowship.  Then a visit was made to Memory Gardens Cemetery where three acquaintances are interred.  One in particular, my friend Amy, was buried there in 2021.  Regretting not being able to attend her funeral services, I made every effort to locate her gr...

About ten years ago I stumbled across a website called Find A Grave .  It is a free website associated with Ancestry , possibly started by the same person.  For about nine of those years I was a "member", I dabbled with it until I began discovering family members.  Over the previous year, I quickly began connecting the dots on the family history: who was married to whom, dates born and died, where they are buried, and a whole treasure trove of information.  As I fell down the rabbit hole of genealogy, I discovered the tools at my disposal through the interactive site.  One of the tools is the Suggested Edit tab, in which I can fill in information and connect family members to one another: parents to children, husbands to wives, where they were born, and so much more.  In fact, I've taken the process far beyond the initial personal goal of finding kinfolk.  As of right now, I have a little under 8,000 memorials I manage and am slowly, but surely, workin...

A little over a week ago, I finished working at Ole Grapevine Cigar & Tobacco Shop for a second tour of duty.  Once again, I found this particular place of employment extremely toxic and dysfunctional.  With the exception of one other staff member, the crew at the shop were too chummy with one another in very unhealthy ways.  Similar to the first experience, I was micro-managed and isolated from feeling a part of the "family", as the manager liked to call the company.  I never felt included...only taken advantage of and then made to feel inferior and worthless.  The customer base wasn't too much better than the work environment.  In some ways, the customers were worse...a bunch of entitled, rich people who wanted their way while everyone else be damned.  Spoiled-rotten brats!  The manager summarily decided, without even consulting me, that I would be moved to an "on call" position.  Since I'm not naive, I realize this means I'll never wor...

As I grow older, the search for significance and meaning increases.  Most of my life has fallen through the cracks without much to show for fifty years of living on this planet.  However, I can take joy in and thank God for His continued Sheparding of this life and the manifold blessings evident all around me.  This world is not my home, but I can enjoy the journey with my eyes fixed on True North.  Father God and His Son, the Lord Jesus, are the only relationships that make this life worth living.  On April 4th, I underwent the second and final cataract and lens replacement procedure.  Knowing what to expect, I was a lot calmer while in the operating room.  Beyond that, the subsequent weeks of healing couldn't have been any more different from the first procedure.  There were lots of draining, irritation, and discomfort.  Wow!  I couldn't help but to become concerned I might lose the use of my left eye or come out with diminished vision...

...He is risen indeed!  This is the typical New Testament greeting from one brother or sister to another.  What impact does that statement have in my life?  Does it really make a difference?  It all boils down to belief, and more than an intellectual assent but a deep-seated belief found in the inner recesses of my heart and soul.  I can claim a born-again experience, but is it evident in daily living?  Thoughts, behaviors, and actions will quickly tell how true this may be in my life.  As I see how life has turned out, am I still trying to wrest my will out of the Hands of God instead of allowing Him to have unfettered access to all that I am?  As you can see, there may be more questions than answers; however, that is where faith comes in.  Many of the heroes of the faith couldn't see the larger picture of the puzzle as the pieces were getting put into place during the course of life.  Soren Kierkegaard said it best, "Life is best under...

Every four years, an additonal day is added to the calendar to course correct our measure of time to better match the Earth's rotation around the sun.  According to a simple Google search, the Earth takes 365.2422 days to fully make one trip or revolution.  This adds up to roughly six hours per year or 24 hours over a four-year period of time.  Hence, the additional day to take care of the excess time and to get us back on track.  Six hours a year may not seem significant or noticeable, but I'm sure it would be over the course of a greater amount of time.  Seasons would become mis-aligned, day would become night, night would become day, and all kinds of havoc would be wreaked due to the accumulative affect of the excess time versus Earth's rotation around the sun.  While the Earth is taking advantage of its "free day" to catch up, how will I use the time?  Chores and other loose ends finally taken care of?  A day out in the state park hiking and c...