Lesson From the Life of Moses

Moses, out of his frustration with and anger toward the Israelites, violated one of God's direct commands.  In addition, he took credit for something God had performed on Moses' behalf.  As a result, God decreed, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."  (Numbers 20:12)  This part of scripture is comforting and damning simultaneously.  First, I find comfort knowing someone as great as Moses succumbed to his humanity...in other words, I'm not the only one who has made a royal mess of his life.  The scripture passage is also damning because it reinforces the hard part of life: there are consequences to our actions, and those very consequences can be too hard to stomach.  God promised the Israelites, and, by implication, to Moses as well, the very land of promise.  However, his actions disqualified him from partaking of and participating in the realization and fullness of God's promise.  Years ago I disqualified myself from what most people would call mainstream living, a lot of things people take for granted: housing, employment, ease of travel, and so much more.  A recent occurrence has driven this point even further.  I have been accepted to the prestigious University of Texas in Austin.  However, due to not finding housing because of the black mark on my legal background, I had to decline admission.  Fellow human beings are interesting creatures.  Many times over could I have found housing till the leasing agent or property owner discovered the felony and its nature.  Then, all of a sudden, I become sub-human, an animal not worthy of the basic needs of life.  This situation is similar to: winning the lottery but not being able to collect the money, purchasing health insurance but not being able to afford using it, or winning a dream vacation and not having the ability or financial means to take the trip.  My perceived actions have brought consequences I must stomach.  Unfortunately I must live out my days wondering "What if?"  This great intellect I was given must rot like day old manna.

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