Truly Liberated to Be Me

By my own confession, I am a slow-processor.  Usually it takes some time for me to wrap my mind around something by fully thinking it through.  Having stated this, I have been thinking for quite some time how God orchestrates His Will in my life and, generally speaking, on earth.  Sometimes He gently nudges me through an inner-voice or "gut feeling/vibe," or rather violently through upsetting or disconcerting circumstances, for example: my state mandated "vacation" a few years ago.  As a result of facing the consequences for my poor choices years ago, I now have a socially stigmatic mark placed upon me.  For those who have not grown to know me, this "mark" is all they know or see and refuse to become acquaintance with the human being I still am.  Acquaintances and friends who do know who I am can see the change and growth in the person I have become.  As a "marked man" of sorts, finding traditional employment is difficult.  The passage of time does ease this difficulty, but it doesn't allow for it to disappear entirely.  Ever since I was a preteen, family, friends, and others in general have always remarked what a gift of writing I possess.  It wasn't until a few years ago did I have any desire or inkling to do anything with this God-given talent or skill.  In other words, it remained dormant, germinating as a seed patiently waiting for the appointed time to show its first signs of life and finally burst forth blossoming in to something beautiful and wonderful.  Ecclesiastes 3:11 states, "He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."  Looking at life in the rear-view mirror I wish I didn't have to go through everything I did.  But to become the seasoned and mature person God wanted me to become, I simply had too.  If I hadn't lived the life as it stands now, would I have learned the same lessons?  Would I have learned them as deeply as I did?  Would I have the life experiences, the skills, the network I now possess?  I can see God orchestrating His master plan in and through my life for His greater glory and good.  Thoreau writes from a different perspective concerning this in his book titled Walden.  (I'll post the book's passage in the following blog entry.)  As a result of the experiences I've gained, the societal stigma attached, and the inability to find traditional employment, I am now realizing God is truly setting me free from the bondage of what this world says is traditional, normal, or business-at-hand.  The prophet Isaiah states in Isaiah 55:8-9, '"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.  "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."'  Now in looking forward in life, I am excited about the plans God has and what that future has in store for me.  For now this will manifest itself in becoming self-employed as a writer, pursuing the wildest dream that could ever come true.  The best ideas I could ever contrive are mundane in comparison with the Wild God I have and worship.  He is truly leading me on a dangerous and adventurous journey, as well as on a Sacred Romance only He could author.

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