Ale for the Soul

 Almost two weeks have passed since giving up employment with Enterprise Rent-A-Car.  Even with the incident involving the vehicle and the failed vacation plans, I have been very much enjoying the time of healing and restoration.  Last week Thursday, a friend graciously agreed to take me to Dublin in order to finalize the sale of the truck for scrap.  Of course I paid for gas and food as a way to say thank you for the accomodation.  In the time since losing vehicle independence, I have been utilizing public transportation once again.  (Bus use for days I have a lot of errands, and the bicycle when I only have one or two local places of questionable importance to go.)  Something I have lost sight of is how truly liberating it is to live simply.  Strip away all the material possessions, along with the initial wants and desires, that culture subtly tells us we must have, and the resulting peace and joy are overwhelming.  Keeping up with the Jone...

One week ago today, I found myself, once again, lying in bed wide awake well after midnight.  More frustrated and anxious than tired, the thought kept recurring that I can't keep doing this to myself.  Employment with Enterprise, while a blessing for this particular season of life, has turned extremely toxic and potentially causing irreperable harm to my mental and emotional health.  Bouts of insomnia and anxiety started out small but were ever-increasing, till finally I simply couldn't take it anymore.  Sometimes, I would physically get sick in the mornings knowing I had to report to work.  All this had to stop!  Cashing in on the last two "pesonal days", I submitted an immediate resignation via email to the team supervisor.  He and his superior called to cover the final details of separation with the company.  With the phone equipment subsequently boxed up and shipped back to the company, I can now breathe a huge sigh of relief.  Out of fai...

On Saturday the 10th, a sleepless night brought on a day off from work as I cashed in a personal day.  Not wanting to waste the day off, once I gained some much-needed sleep of course, I set my sights on Denton, Texas.  What exactly was in that cozy North Texas municipality that made me want to visit that day?  Who knows, but I figured the mystery of the unknown was worth the half-hour trek.  In the end, I only spent about two hours exploring the town, but it was a visit full of discovery and personal enrichment.  First on the list was a place to eat in order to level out my spiking blood-sugar.  Rounding the corner of the block after parking on a side street, I immediately spied J&J's Pizza.  Wanting more than the traditional pie, I ordered a pepperoni calzone.  The price was in line with what the dish should be, and the meal certainly didn't disappoint.  It was absolutely delicious!  (Memories of Nikki's Roma Pizza in Victoria, Tex...

 What will the future look like?  Unfortunately, I'm not a fortune-teller or mind-reader.  I'm also not one who will second-guess the here and now in order to try to manipulate the future of my choosing.  (At least not anymore.  Think about Jacob the "heel-grabber" who tried to bring about God's plan using human "wisdom".)  Almighty God is the Great "I AM", not the Great "I Was" or the Great "I Will Be".  In His Heavenly Kingdom, it is always the eternal present and my life is viewed on that scale.  Father God knows what will become of my life, hopefully seen obediently in the midst of His perfect and loving design.  To get there, I must live in relationship and fellowship with my Lord and in community with other believers.  I also believe this is born out of a place of health and well-being, which means I must deal with the issues that have been ignored for so long.  (Trying to perfom His Will out of my own strength.)  All ...

In addition to celebrating fourteen years of sobriety away from alcohol, I had another cause for joy in the expiration of the legal obligation at midnight on the 18th of August.  After four years of a forced vacation and the subsequent ten years of supervision, I am no longer bound by the dictates of the State of Texas.  This doesn't mean I no longer have a black mark on my record, but rather I am now able to nagivate life more freely without the involvement of the powers that be.  In the following week since having that burden lifted from my shoulders, I have been continuing to unencumber or divest myself of the pressure to maintain compliance with external forces.  Initially upon release from the puppetmaster, so to speak, I wanted to take a month vacation to celebrate such a joyous occasion.  In addition, I had absolutely determined and every intention to execute a move out of Fort Worth for a place of my choosing.  Neither of these have happened nor loo...

 August 18th is a special day as my brother and I share a birthday.  He turns the corner on 33 years of age while I am only now entering what I shall call the pre-teen years.  Of course I'm talking about two different types of birthdays.  For my brother, his birthday represents the chronological progression of time, while mine is still a measure of time but in regard to sobriety from alcohol.  When life changed for yours truly, I had no capacity to envision what may be in store for the future.  The first three and a half years were spent on a forced vacation, an environment that really didn't allow for seeking out an alcoholic beverage as I had greater concerns to contend with.  It wasn't until I moved to Fort Worth that I asked myself where I wanted to go with this sobriety stuff.  Figuring the sober life hadn't been too terribly bad, I figured it was worth taking and running with it.  Leaving the garbage heap of life behind me, I could now ...

About a month ago, my brother notified his wedding had been postponed once again due to the Corona Virus.  I'm sure this was a disappointment for him, his fiance, and everyone involved.  Yours truly could have been more sensitive and sympathetic about the issue.  Unfortunately, the only topic of concern on my mind was cancelling the tuxedo rental and gaining a refund.  I had roughly $270 invested in a wedding that may never happen.  Even though I'm now working full-time with great pay and benefits, I wasn't willing to throw away that much money.  Thankfully, I did receive a refund and have been using the money for basic necessities of life: gas for the truck, groceries, and various other expenditures.  If and when the wedding ever takes place, maybe I can get remeasured for the tuxedo and still participate in the festivities.  I was also able to cancel the vacation days previously scheduled for this event.  As soon as the Corona pandemic is o...