Jettison the Toxic Waste




One week ago today, I found myself, once again, lying in bed wide awake well after midnight.  More frustrated and anxious than tired, the thought kept recurring that I can't keep doing this to myself.  Employment with Enterprise, while a blessing for this particular season of life, has turned extremely toxic and potentially causing irreperable harm to my mental and emotional health.  Bouts of insomnia and anxiety started out small but were ever-increasing, till finally I simply couldn't take it anymore.  Sometimes, I would physically get sick in the mornings knowing I had to report to work.  All this had to stop!  Cashing in on the last two "pesonal days", I submitted an immediate resignation via email to the team supervisor.  He and his superior called to cover the final details of separation with the company.  With the phone equipment subsequently boxed up and shipped back to the company, I can now breathe a huge sigh of relief.  Out of fairness to Enterprise, other factors, however small or seemingly insignificant, played a part in the equation for what I was experiencing in life.  With what I like to call the "Corona Hoax", limited travel, along with a few other minor details, I was feeling boxed in.  Quite frankly, I was feeling stuck or trapped in a life course that was not appealing for the long-term.  All I wanted was out!  For years, I desired to take a multi-week or month long vacation once the legal obligation ended in August.  That never came to pass.  Since yours truly was still "new" with the company, I didn't have the vacation time or finances to makes this dream a reality.  In resigning from Enterprise, I promptly prepared for a week-long camping vacation to at least three state parks in Texas: Garner State Park (Rio Frio), McKinney Falls State Park (Austin), and Palmetto State Park (Gonzales).  The time away was designed for spiritual renewal and mental/emotional healing after a grueling eight months.  Unfortunately, my bad luck struck again.  Roughly two hours southwest of Fort Worth, the truck bit the dust.  Blowing a major gasket in the engine pretty much made the vehicle unsalvageable.  Upon the advise of the mechanic, I sold the vehicle for scrap and tried the best I could to figure out what to do next.  Knowing a snap decision wouldn't be wise, I secured a motel room in the tiny town of Dublin.  Considering the circumstances, I had a great time experiencing the sites and sounds of this municipality.  Having only passed through this area a handful of times, this was the first opportunity to ever stay here for any length of time.  To my pleasant surprise, the locals were very friendly and hospitable.  This tiny country town also has a rich historical heritage to offer those willing to walk around the downtown area.  In spite of an uncooperative phone battery, I was able to take quite a few photos of the area.  The end to this story hasn't written itself yet; however, I was blessed in asking my aunt, who lives in Fort Worth, if she would come "rescue" me from getting stranded.  She obliged and joyfully travelled to Dublin.  Once we packed up the contents of the truck, we made our way back to Fort Worth.  In one of the few times I will ever say this, I was very glad to get back to the apartment in order to sleep in my own bed.  Now I still need to determine and process the final details to all this mess.  All that may take a few days, but at least I can do it in the comfort of my own residence.  What will the future hold?  Who knows?  Whatever the future may look like, I will roll with the punches as I seek Abba Father's direction and wisdom.



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