Set Adrift in the Sea of Life

In addition to celebrating fourteen years of sobriety away from alcohol, I had another cause for joy in the expiration of the legal obligation at midnight on the 18th of August.  After four years of a forced vacation and the subsequent ten years of supervision, I am no longer bound by the dictates of the State of Texas.  This doesn't mean I no longer have a black mark on my record, but rather I am now able to nagivate life more freely without the involvement of the powers that be.  In the following week since having that burden lifted from my shoulders, I have been continuing to unencumber or divest myself of the pressure to maintain compliance with external forces.  Initially upon release from the puppetmaster, so to speak, I wanted to take a month vacation to celebrate such a joyous occasion.  In addition, I had absolutely determined and every intention to execute a move out of Fort Worth for a place of my choosing.  Neither of these have happened nor look as if they will come to fruition any time soon.  This is simply par for the course in my life as almost nothing as ever gone according to plan.  Now I'm experiencing new acuity of anxiety in regard to employment with Enterprise.  The feelings are of being a square peg in a round hole.  Working hard to perform to the best of my ability, the results grow worse by the day.  Saturday's shift was mental torture as I had to finish out the day against my will.  The issue with the job has already been affecting my sleep, creating insomnia and missed days at work.  Hopefully all this is simply a sign of mental decompression as I no longer have the legal obligation hanging over me.  Of course I will maintain my gaze toward the future as I live out today in obedience to a Higher Calling.  Let's see what the future holds.

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