Burn Notice

More than a few years ago, there was a TV series titled Burn Notice.  If I remember correctly, the main character was a former CIA operative whose services The Company no longer needed.  As a result, he was flown to Florida, dropped off in the middle of nowhere, and was wished the best of luck in fending for himself.  That's the way I felt upon exiting incarceration after almost four years of service for the State of Texas.  (The term service being very loosely used, almost humorously.)  I was herded onto a Greyhound bus and taken to Fort Worth.  With $50 in hand and a lot of people wishing me well, I was esentially living out my own version of a burn notice.  The great State of Texas got what they wanted out of me, an innocent man who was used as an example for a tough-on-crime, election-year judge in San Antonio.  Not wanting to dwell in the past and hindering my future by doing so, I quickly set out to make the best of what may lay ahead.  Essentially, I wanted my life back after having it stolen.  (A little bit of bitterness...can you tell?)  The process was a little slow-going at first, but eventually the momentum started building until I was fairly well set in stable housing and employment.  In addition, I acheived a few bucket list items: solid, continuous sobriety, a two-year degree from the local community college, and a few other odds and ends.  Life doesn't always give out sunshine and roses as you can read from my experience.  Hope, once lost, is extremely difficult to recover.  The only thing worse than lost hope is a crushed spirit.  That's the point at which I started my journey post-incarceration.  It wasn't easy as society has a stigma for those of us who have a colorful background.  However, I kept plugging forward refusing to give up.  The underlying foundation was my faith in Jesus Christ.  He carried me when I could neither do for myself or have enough mental and emotional capacity to give a damn.  If it weren't for my Lord, I wouldn't have made it.  Are you currently living a burn notice?  Struggling to give a damn after losing hope?  Don't give up or give in.  Jesus Christ makes life worth living.

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