Ale for the Soul

The definition of Existential Depression:  inner conflicts characterized by the impression that life lacks meaning.  Ultimately my identity is in the Lord Jesus Christ, and life's meaning is to have a vibrant and fulfilling relationship with the same Lord.  This is in spite of circumstances swirling around me.  Some may argue reality sucks, but I posit that the spiritual kingdom encompasses the perceived reality of this terrestrial plane.  Reality may "suck" due to a lack of or failing relationship with Yahweh God.  This is where I am in life.  Devoid of ego or a superiorty complex, I recognize the gifts with which God has so richly blessed me.  The challenge is how do these gifts play out horizontally out of the richness of a vertical relationship with one I will call a Higher Power.  So much of my life has been spent in bitterness over lack of resources and opportunities to use the talents, skills, and abilities that are innately bestowed u...

**Found this piece of work in my computer files.  Not sure the purpose for which I wrote this, but I found the content interesting.** “I am four years old!”   This was my first conscious moment of self-awareness as I stood in the front yard of my home in Austin, Texas.   The sun was shining brightly as I stood under the shade of the house eaves, gazing upon the Chinese Tallow Mom had planted years ago.   The shadow it cast almost touched the curb as it made an outlined impression on the green grass of the yard.   That moment of self-remembrance must have been enough for my small mind that day, because I remember little else.   My life must have been in a fog of transition from dependence on others to quasi self-awareness.   At some point in time I made the leap to constant cognizance of the world around me.   There weren’t any more gaps in the course my life would take.   From then on, I remember living in Austin, enjoying the fruits of child...

Do you ever think or believe Forest Gump intended to have the extraordinary life he had?  In the movie, he was an extremely fortunate soul who was carried by the winds of life to experience many incredible moments in history.  By the world's standards, he was not a very smart man...or at least not academically.  However, I believe he possessed an intelligence and an innate fortitude to persevere when life didn't make sense or confronted with the great injustices of life.  In no way am I comparing my life to his; however, I do feel some kindred spirit or connection with that fictional character.  All through Junior High and High School, I knew exactly what I wanted to pursue as a career as well as accomplish in the periphery of life.  None of it happened!  Maybe God had other plans for me according to His overarching design.  In the intervening years since that time, I have travelled to places, met people, and experienced situations in life that ha...

On Tuesday, I took out on the open road to Cedar Hill State Park.  From where I live, the park is on Interstate 20 heading East past Arlington and Grand Prairie; in fact, I saw the very southern edge of the Dallas city limits while travelling.  Thank goodness for the map app on my phone, or I may have had difficulty locating this gem nestled in the Metroplex.  A hidden treasure it is!  Unfortunately, I didn't find out till my arrival that the beach area and surrounding grounds were closed due to restoration efforts.  In addition, a portion of the main road was down to one lane for construction.  Still undettered, I resolved to get the most experience out of my adventure.  First on the list was visiting Penn Farm.  The entrance sign suggested the tour would take an hour.  That was spot on, but it sure didn't seem like that long as yours truly was enthralled with the history of the buildings and grounds.  I was equally impressed with the u...

The new year is already off to a great start!  On January 4th, I began working at Dunham & Jones law firm in their call center.  It's simply a glorified switchboard operator or receptionist position, but it's right up my alley.  Other than the IT Manager, who oversees the eighteen-plus employees, I'm the only male working in the building.  So far, I've been learning quite a bit and believe the job will work out just fine for the foreseeable future.  In fact, I receive my first paycheck on Monday and benefits kick in on April 1st.  Woohoo!  Employment with the cigar shop has been pushed to the weekends.  This will provide extra money for odds and ends till I get caught up financially.  By no means am I in dire financial need, but I sure could start paying down the credit card balance.  The whole process will take time.  Of course I'm concerned about wearing myself out with no days off or time to myself.  So far, I've been ho...

Soren Kierkegard once said that life can only be understood looking backward but must be lived moving forward.  (My paraphrase.)  As I look back on the previous year plus, I am amazed at the journey yours truly has taken.  The only observation that counts is how my Father God has walked with and blessed me the entire time.  With the exception of some temp work here and there, I was fortunate enough to have had enough money in the bank to take off for most of 2021.  Again, the Great Shepard has richly provided when I needed His help the most.  If I cease resisting His hand of providence and love for me, the lover of my soul has proven time and again that He is willing to grant a rich life far beyond anything I could ever fathom in this temporary earthly life.  I am simply a pilgrim on a journey to an eternal kingdom.  This life is the proving ground for the next world.  Of course I will experience less than ideal circumstances and personal rev...

Time marches on and stops for no one.  Yes, both Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone.  Now I'm celebrating my 48th birthday.  Wow, how did I get this old?  Ha ha!  On Christmas Eve, I left Fort Worth to travel to Yoakum in order to visit family.  Not sure if I was more excited about getting to leave town for a few days or to see my mother, step-father, and brother.  Either way, I was doubly blessed with time away with those I love.  They aren't required to love or tolerate me just because we are related.  With the passage of time, the family dynamic changes as does yours truly.  Unfortunately, I was done by Sunday afternoon.  As a result, I headed back to the city of my exile.  There's something to be said about sleeping in one's own bed and apartment.  Today I was determined to not let the time pass by wastefully.  After running a few errands and meeting a friend for coffee, I headed out to Marion Sansom Pa...