Ale for the Soul

So take a look at me now Well there's just an empty space And there's nothing left here to remind me Just the memory of your face Ooh, take a look at me now Well there's just an empty space And you coming back to me is against the odds And that's what I've got to face I wish I could just make you turn around Turn around and see me cry There's so much I need to say to you So many reasons why You're the only one who really knew me at all So take a look at me now Well there's just an empty space And there's nothing left here to remind me Just the memory of your face Now Take a look at me now 'Cause that's just an empty space But to wait for you is all I can do And that's what I've got to face Take a good look at me now 'Cause I'll still be standing here And you coming back to me is against all odds It's the chance I've got to take Take a look at me now

About an hour ago, my mother and step-father departed Fort Worth for Yoakum.  Yes, it was time to say our good-byes, give hugs, and wish each other good health and many blessings.  Such bittersweet sorrow!  Unfortunately, I don't have the kind of relationships here as I do with friends and family who live elsewhere.  It is only when they visit me do I have any kindred feelings of connected-ness with humanity.  None of us lead very entertaining lifestyles, but we did manage to fellowship over food, as well as to visit two museums.  Of course I also brought them to my favorite spot in Fort Worth, the coffee shop Buon Giorno.  As part of their visit, they brought the last of the material possessions I had stored in their attic.  This allowed for final closure to a bleak spot in my personal life that occurred many years ago.  I can now mentally and emotionally move on.  Later on this evening, I will also celebrate my eleventh sobriety birthd...

Earlier this week my mother announced she was planning a surprise visit to Fort Worth for this weekend.  This was cause for great joy and certainly something to look forward too.  The subsequent days in the interim were spent in preparation for her visit.  By 12:15 p.m. today, I was finished with work and hurriedly began to wrap-up a few remaining chores and errands.  As predicted, both my mother and step-father arrived at the apartment at precisely 6 p.m.  They made great time during the trek from Yoakum to Fort Worth.  Coincidentally, the trip was in concert with a mandatory evacuation of the Gulf Coast as Hurricane Harvey made landfall.  Thankfully, they did not have any difficulty while undertaking their journey.  (Their visit was not due to the impending bad weather.)  In addition, the D/FW area did not get any of the rain the weather forecasted.  That was an added plus as the inclement weather may have dampened our visit and intend...

Lately I've been investing quite a bit of money, time, and energy in to the apartment where I live.  First on the list was to install two ceiling fans: one in the bedroom, and the other in the living room.  Then I had one inch by three inch boards mounted in to the cinder blocks walls in order to install curtain rods and curtains.  These turned out beautifully, and is probably the most prized home improvement yet.  (Keep in mind I'm hiring my next-door neighbor to perform all the work.)  Once those projects were completed, I moved on to the ventilation hood in the kitchen.  Some moron painted over it before I ever moved in.  What are people thinking when they ignorantly perform such idiotic tasks such as this?  I'm still shaking my head over this one.  Anyway, I tediously scraped off as much of the paint as I could.  The finished project looks okay, but I will end up painting over it due to the scratches I made on to the surface of the h...

Seems like all I could see was the struggle Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past Bound up in shackles of all my failures Wondering how long is this gonna last Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son Stop fighting a fight it's already been won" I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be I am redeemed, I'm redeemed All my life I have been called unworthy Named by the voice of my shame and regret But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head" I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me 'Cause his day is long dead and gone Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same And a hope that will carry me home I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll ...

For one who has been accustomed to posting almost every day, it's as if I fell off the face of the planet.  August seemed as good a month as any for hitting the reset button on a lot of what I have been pursuing lately.  As is obvious to me, probably along with everyone else, July was a struggle for creative material for the blog.  That's the main reason I haven't been posting very much or often.  (Hence the mental reset or break from the mainstream of things.)  However, today seemed a great day to reconnect with my readers as I celebrate eleven years of sobriety and abstinence from alcohol.  Once I finished with work and clocked out for the weekend, I took care of a few odds and ends before attending the one o'clock meeting at the Southwest Group of Alcoholics Anonymous in Fort Worth.  Since this is probably the third of fourth meeting I've made this year, I didn't recognize too many faces, but there were a few old-times there.  We had a blast se...

How do you explain? How do you describe A love that goes from the east to west And runs as deep as it is ride? You know all our hopes Lord, You know all our fears And words cannot express the love we feel But we long for You to hear So listen to our hearts, here our spirit sing A song of praise that flows from those You have redeemed We will use the words we know to tell you what an awesome God You are But words are not enough to tell You of our love, so listen to our hearts If words could fall like rain From these lips of mine And if I had a thousand years I would still run out of time So if you'll listen to my heart Every beat will say Thank you for the life, thank you for the truth Thank you for the way So listen to our hearts, here our spirit sing A song of praise that flows from those You have redeemed We will use the words we know to tell You what an awesome God You are But words are not enough to tell You of our love, so listen to our hearts You know all our hopes Lord, You ...

I sat there looking ugly Looking ugly and mean I knew what you were saying You were saying to me Baby's got some new rules Baby, said she's had it with me It seems a shame to waste your time on me It seems a lot to waste your time for me Left me to love What it's doing to me There's a lot of honey in this world Baby, this honey's for me You've got to do what you do Do it with me It seems a shame you waste your time for me Left me to love What it's doing to me Knocked silly Knocked flat Sideways down These things they pick you up And they turn you around Say your piece Say you're sweet for me It's all the same to share the pain with me It's all the same, save the shame for me Left me to love What it's doing to me Baby's got some new rules Baby said she's had it with me There's a fly in the honey Baby's got a baby with me That's a part That's a part of me Left me to love What it's doing to me Left ...

Hello August, we meet again!  Almost two-thirds of 2017 is gone, and I'm wondering what happened to it.  Wow, how fast time flies.  The first day of August has been a good one.  First, it was a day off from work, but that doesn't mean I lazily spent it at the apartment.  At 10 a.m. I was at Cabela's filling out paperwork for an employment background check and a drug test.  Surprisingly, the drug test was performed on-site.  It was the first time I've ever had the "swab" test for drugs.  That was an interesting experience.  If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you should already know drugs have never been a part of my personal history.  Yes, alcohol is a drug, but Cabela's isn't testing for that.  (August is my birthday month as I celebrate eleven years of sobriety on the eighteenth.)  Once that was all over, I was able to hang out at the coffee shop visiting with several friends who happened to be there at rou...